Broken
by czee
Summary: “I’m breaking up with you Ayu.” I stared at him in disbelief and at that moment it felt as if the world has stopped moving. For good. AyuxTsujiai. Oneshot.


-------------------

_**Broken**_

_by: czee_

-------------------

"I'm breaking up with you Ayu."

I stared at him in disbelief. Everything seemed to freeze up the moment the words left his mouth. There was nothing but the slow pitter-patter of the rain and the feeling of pain and darkness slowly creeping in my heart.

"What…?" was all I managed to say.

"Ayu I… I don't feel the same anymore. The feelings I had for you they're… gone. I'm sorry I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to do this to you." I choked on a sob and I fell on the ground as his words were slowly starting to sink in. He made a move to hold me but I flinched before he could even touch. His eyes were full of worry and concern, but he didn't dare to hold me again. In his mind, the slightest touch was probably enough to break me. And somehow, I knew it could.

"Tsu…Hiroki… why…?" His brow furrowed in frustration.

"Don't ask me that. I don't know okay? I have been wanting to talk to you for quite sometime now. Days, weeks… I had already lost track of it. The reason why I couldn't… _wouldn't…_ talk to you was more for _your_ sake than for mine. I don't want you hurt… I'd rather die than to even hurt you. I know it sounds impossible but I beg you not to be furious at me. I couldn't hurt you anymore than I have and I am." You stopped and looked at me waiting for a reply of some sort. But I sat motionless on the ground. You went on,

"You've changed. I've changed. I think maybe we rushed into this relationship. I'm just saying… maybe, we should take a few steps back and get to know each other again." Change? Take a step back and get to know each other? You're the only one who's changed. I've remained the same for the past 13 months. You look at me again waiting for a reply. I gave none.

"Look Ayu… I honestly didn't mean for my feelings to go away. I can't control how I feel. I just… fell out of it. And I'm genuinely sorry. You have to understand. This pains me as much as it does you."

Does it? Does it really? Does it hurt you to leave someone you don't love anymore? Is that really more painful than someone you love leaving you?

"Say something… please…" You sat in front of me and looked me in the eye.

"I… don't know. Is it me Hiroki? Am I not good enough? Because… I've… I've been trying my best…" You held my hand and I tried stopping the tears once more. I gripped your hand tightly, never wanting you to go.

"It's not you okay? Ayu you're… you're perfect. It's me. I want to do things for myself. Things that I can't do with you. And it's not like I'm leaving. I'll always be here for you, you know that."

"Why can't you do them with me?" I looked you straight in the eye.

"Because… because. Ugh. Ayu, don't make this harder on me then it already is. I just don't love you anymore. There's no point continuing this relationship anymore!" He said it. He doesn't love me anymore. In a second I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. And you. You just stared at me, angry and frustrated, not knowing how much pain you're inflicting on me.

"Is this… a dream?" I whispered

"I wish it was Ayu…"

"I… see… so… you don't love me anymore…?"

"I'm sorry…"

"I wont force my feelings on you then…" Your eyes softened once again and for a moment, I thought I saw _him_. The you I lost months ago. The person I fell in-love with.

"I hope you understand Ayu…" I slowly nodded. You pat my shoulder one last time before you stood up and, with one last smile, walked away from me.

I stared at your retreating figure and hugged myself tightly. For the first time, as I sat in the pouring rain, I broke down.

For the first time I was completely, broken.

_Forgiving you is easy__  
I'm big enough to  
But some things are hard_  
_And it's hard to forget you_

_It's hard to banish the memories__  
It's hard to make them go away__  
It's hard especially when__  
What I want to, I can't say_

_It's hard because you're evil__  
It's hard because I hate you__  
It's hard because I won't__  
Ever forget you..._

_-Anonymous_

------------------

Authors notes: One of those things you just have to write otherwise they'll haunt you for days. Hate it? Love it? Reviews are very much loved.


End file.
